year 199x
end of 7th grade
oh, 1988-89 or so
actually, >10000FIM
was my - our - first
pc: 80286, 10/8MHz
640kb ram, 20Mb hard drive
and the (in)famous DD-disk-
drive, that gave me my nick
at the time (before IRC-age)
all the 20Mb of the "winchester"
(seagate, actually, i think)
were always full of .. hmm, i
wonder what. sketches of c-programs,
sounds, graphics, games, .. and
communications. stores messages
from different boxes and networks
"seko" "temp" "txt" "music" "in"
i seem to remember after checking
the tree. why not to add it here?
at the moment i'm multitasking.
downloading software for my new
Atari ST1040 from the net (ppl)
.. it also has a DD-drive, and
i could use the modern workstations
at the university or our office
to copy MIDI-files or any programs
to it so I returned home and am
zmodeming right now in the other
DESQview-window straight to the
floppy. talking about lowtech?
hm wonder if i can take a screenshot
of this ..
-2-GAYlink-with-Tamerun-(215kb)-
(...)
Byte 56320 attempt 2: Bad CRC
Byte 56320 attemtp 2: Got ERROR
45xxxx ZMODEM CRC-32
--------------------------------
-1-1-Dos-(151k)-Ansi------------
(...)
the text i'm writing right now,
ooh, almost crashed in this loop
--------------------------------
talking with mom
(outside the box)
in my brother's room,
with guitars, she's
brushing the floors.
the weekend was partying,
but not the way you'd think
.. the young man living in
this room (not me) graduated
from high school - as did my
girlfriend, who got the same
diploma without attending the
official preliminary and high-
schools for even a day. steiner
has given her a different view
on the world, but it was evaluated
the other, the official Finnish
(nazi?) way .. and she did fine.
i miss her.
outside there are birds and squirrels
in the (deep) Forests at the end of
Hiidentie .. the summer has begun, the
file transfer is completed and i might
have figured out a way to take a screenshot
.. or at least a windowcopy! blah didn't
work for the screen .. only for the windows,
this way:
-
[an@global an]$ ssh @humble
@humble's password:
Permission denied.
[an@global an]$ ssh @humble
@humble's password:
Last login: Mon Jun 7 11:13:36 1999 from global.netppl.fi
No mail.
[@evil ~]$ cd atari
[@evil ~/atari]$ sz dracpack.lzh
*B00000000000000
GLINK 4.4 ANS ECHO ROLL NUML
00.21.0624 02
- .. and this window .. --
<*** End of File ***>
L 102C
1IAW88k*c:\an\down\ddt1stpc
wow it worked out,
couldn't upload the
file first though
'cause DESQview had
capture the PgUp and
arrow keys so that
G(ay)Link couldn't
get them .. i got
the ASCII-transfer
started but coulndn't
change it from down-
to upload. (oh what an-
association!)
rebooted the machine - the modem line didn't even hang up -
restarted Glink and
can use the arrows now.
hmm perhaps the tree yet..
wonder what tree > com1
in c-root would do ;)
(alt-d for dos shell,
not multitasking this time)
Directory PATH listing for Volume TONIN
+ an + ~ ~ : (t . !
Volume Serial Number is 1779-8805
C:.
DOS
UTIL
PELIT
POKERI
HYTY
LBL
CATDISK
TEKO
Q
SEKO
BLBOWL
HARN
TXT
TEKOTXT
CP
INFO&DOC
RUOKA
(ROO)PEL
TV&ELOKU
KIRJALL
MUSA
DOORS
PFLOYD
REM
BJRK
QUEEN
OLDFIELD
HENDRIX
GUNSROSE
METALLIC
REDHOTCH
AEROSMIT
ACDC
ROSKAA
FAITHNO
BSABBATH
NIRVANA
SOUNDGAR
DSTRAITS
C_ISAAK
EAGLES
ZEPPELIN
CULT
PANTERA
SATRIANI
S_DOCTOR
U2
MEGADEAT
BEATLES
DEPURPLE
THERAPY
INXS
4RUUSUA
PEARL.JAM
CURE
TSEHOV
JOPI
IW
KIELET
JOULU
KOULU
BACK
BATIT
4DOS
TC
INCLUDE
SYS
LIB
BGI
NORTON
PD
GLINK
DSZ
BW
MAIL
R
POST
MAIL
QWK
HELL
ę
IN
IRC
SCR
HLP
ZORGAN
ZORGAN
ZEDIT
ZUKKO
TEMP
U
D
V
TEMP
FONTEDIT
DV
TAME
DVCOPY
P
()()
MSG
SETUP
NET
KERMIT
AN
DOWN
atz
hm the ascii graphs didn't
work too well - wonder how
Netscape and MSIE 5 's will
show that
had to restart GLink again,
atzhiuu! (gesundheit, or gips!)
[Gesundheit, Intelligens, Potens und Schnheit(?)]
yesterday i heard that my .. fascinating
younger half-brother (stepbrother you call them?)
has something called .. Ausperger? -berger? whatever
syndrome. the internet is supposed to know a lot
about it. hm. wonder if it's fashionable now. they
recently published a book about in Finnish so there
have been titles on covers of magazines about
Intelligence as sickness or something.
Nrtti, Nero vai Normaali ie.
Nerd, Genius or Normal it's called. blah
met my old teachers on saturday.
Filosofia, idinkieli, Matematiikka, Fysiikka, Kuvaamataito, Historia.
owe them a lot. heard many stories. all day was memories and future.
(read the arrow of time last night)
by doing all this - the text here is -
i've spent hours of my busy day, when
i was "supposed" to organize our trip
to California (Silicon Valley - here
we come!), take care of some banking,
write proposals and different messages
all over and work on my thesis. and
eat.
did i just prove something?
uh. in the bath i was - after the idea
of this message - thinking about this
one Brittish academic criticizing
Sociology (that I once liked, but am
now afraid of, as my girlfriend and
many other people know well), as
something that tries to be the
Physics of Society but cannot and
should not.
my thesis is about communication
environments - where the communication
part has to do with computers and people,
ie. data, information and knowledge and
the environment is connected to Hyper-
theories (text, media, .. ballad and punk?)
and physics - in the sense that it's about
modelling the environments we are in.
my girlfriend said yesterday - before
leaving the city (but hopefully not me)
for a couple of days to the University
of Lapland (i might follow) - that the
environments/physics -part there is
what she finds fascinating. it's also
the most difficult. and also the one,
that might make it science? otherwise
it's more research on the language-part
and concepts, in a humanist way, born
in the world of technologies. hm, dunno.
perhaps i should stop this now.
the brother is 9yrs old and has problems,
'cause his mental level is more of a
sixteen-year-old (finnish, english, mathematics)
but social skills quite the opposite. it's all
to easy to imagine (and painful to know) what it
must be like in the school.
i remember deciding about my own school-going,
that i always wanted to be most normal. first,
when i was 5 or so, i *refused* to read or
write - i wanted to learn it in school. then,
after the nerdy years in the upper preliminary,
(7-9th grades, 12/13-15 years old) .. when we'd
just gotten this old computer and where doing
nothing but playing and programming with it
(like we did with the Commodore 64 to some extent
before it and like my brother has been doing with
the Internet since he was 6 or 7 .. he sent me
e-mail about his new homepage when i'd just
moved to holland, Amsterdam, autumn '97, gee that
surprised me .. he was 7 or 8 yrs old then)
i rejected the "elite schools" in Oulu, namely
the Lyseo (Lycaeum) and especially (but painfully)
the IB - International BAccalaeur (whatever) that
started then and where the most .. uh-oh .. people
went then. all my friends, in a way, since the
3rd grade and later. the one's we'd done videos
with and studied the medievals in the SCA,
Society for Creative Anachroism.
so i remained uncivilized. not knowing any Latin,
Greek, drama, culture or even English too well.
or any young students who would become the doctors
and presidents of the future (three presidents of
the republic come from that school).
instead i got to know people, who couldn't care
less about wisdom, intelligence or any other
mental skills - not to mention academica or
high culture - but spent most of their time
trying to move out from their parents homes,
getting money, being bored, drinking beer,
having fun with their friends and loving their
girl/boyfriends. managing school just OK,
but only because they had to. they had no
artistic passion and even less any sign of
the elitism, hedonism? and narcism that often
seems to bring up. i was down and contempt.
have i remained? i'm afraid.
the brother has had several art exhibitions,
photographs mostly, and is very well aware
of all he is. but not of the world. and what
i'm most afraid of - what my mother echoed,
or actually echoing my mother's fear - that
it has to do with our father. either genetically
(biologicall) or .. memetically (culturally,
socially) .. has my brother refused, rejected?
ie. made his mind?
a lot of that is about focus, i think.
in a neurological and psychological sense.
people who know me - like you i think -
might know of problems i have in that ..
either focusing too much on something or
not anything at all .. and neglecting,
consequently. and not making it clear.
or not noticing. even less caring. sick
i think i stop this know, perhaps do
some normal irc, go to talk with my mom,
then perhaps biking in the forests to
the university to work and home and life
'll-be-seeing-you
+ an + ~ ~ : (t . !